Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.
His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.
He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.
If you love a married woman and you’re in a love relationship with her, read this post.
But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from an illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love life (if he’s up for it).
Anyway, the married man like his supposed competition is afraid of a deeper intimacy as well. His willingness to live in a limited marital relationship thinly disguises this fear of deeper love and intimacy.
By the way, when people say they are afraid of intimacy, think ‘exposure’ to what they themselves have difficulty accepting in themselves.
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.
Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.